Pucking Strong: An MM Workplace Hockey Romance (Jacksonville Rays Book 4)

Teddy’s been outside on the phone for the last two hours. He started sitting on the chair. Then he took to pacing. I can’t hear him through the glass. He’s equal parts animated and reserved, sometimes gesturing wildly with his free hand, sometimes sitting quietly, nodding as the other person speaks.

Who is he talking to? Someone from his family? I hope he can mend those fences. It’s clear how much they care for him. Even clearer that they care not at all for me. In fact, it’s safe to say they hate me. Perhaps I have some grace left with the husbands. But his sisters? His mother? I imagine they’d all like to see me cast into the fiery pit.

I try to keep myself busy while he’s outside, checking Karro’s progress reports from Mr. Torres and answering the pile of emails from Laura and Elin. Laura has new endorsement deals for me to consider, and Elin did some research on elderly care facilities.

Even after his fall from the ladder, Dad is still being resistant to any change. He doesn’t want more help, and he definitely doesn’t want to move. He’s afraid moving Mom will mean he loses her faster. She has so many memories rooted to that house and the land. Some days, the familiarity of her kitchen and her garden is all that keeps her grounded.

The instability of their situation eats at me night and day. I’m afraid the decision will fall to me and I’ll have to enforce it with an iron hand. I want to be ready. I’m scrolling the website of an assisted living facility when Teddy comes back in. “All good?” I call.

He heaves a sigh of relief and drops down next to me on the couch. “So good.”

I set my phone aside, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Now that we’ve crossed the barrier of intimate touch, casual touch just feels natural. Teddy must feel the same because he sinks against me, propping his feet up on the coffee table. Then he pulls my arm tighter around his neck, banding my forearm across his chest.

I kiss his brow. “Who were you talking to?”

“My sister.”

“Which one?”

He hums contentedly, brushing his fingers down my arm. “Shae. I called her. We had a good talk. Finally.”

“Finally?”

“Yeah, it was time I came clean.”

“About what?”

He laughs. “Like, everything.”

“Everything?”

“Yeah. You, me, this whole crazy situation.”

“I thought you told them what we did and why.”

“Yeah, but before I just told them the basics. This time I filled in the gaps. I told Shae everything. Like, down to the details of my shoes on our wedding day. It helped, you know? To finally get it all off my chest. I hated feeling like I was keeping secrets.”

“You felt like you were keeping secrets by not telling your sister the shoes you wore to our wedding?”

“Well, not secrets, I guess. But those details, yeah. By keeping everything quiet and rushing like we did, I denied my family a lot. I hurt them, Hen. I think I’m really only just now realizing how much I hurt them. Something Karro said tonight opened the wound fresh.”

“What did she say?”

He brushes his hand down my arm again. “She said Petra promised her she could be the flower girl at your wedding.”

I go still, my heart clenching tight. The picture is so easy to paint in my mind. I can all but hear Petra’s voice saying the words, followed by Karro’s little cheer of excitement. “Karolina would have made an excellent flower girl.”

“Yeah, I feel bad,” he goes on. “We really messed up that part, I think. Shae said again how much she wished she could have been there. I wish we could make it up to all of them.”

I hum in understanding. “What if we hosted a party?”

“A party?”

“Many of my teammates in the past have had weddings abroad in the offseason, then they host parties once the season starts again. Would that help soothe hurt feelings?”

He sits up, an excited look in his eyes. “Like a reception?”

I shrug. “If you want.”

He bites his bottom lip, leaning away, his mind clearly racing.

Reaching out, I brush my fingers lightly over the locs on his shoulder. “What are you thinking?”

“Could we maybe hire a photographer too? We just don’t really have any pictures of us—I mean, the ones on your phone definitely don’t count. I can’t send those to my sisters in a Christmas card.”

I chuckle. Since our little photoshoot in the bathtub, we’ve added a few shots to the password-protected folder on my phone. “Of course. A photographer for Teddy, a dress for Karolina—”

“And maybe a kiss?” Once the words are out of his mouth, I can see he regrets them. He groans, shifting away.

I prop my feet next to his, tucking him against me with both arms around his chest so he can’t get away. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing. It’s fine.”

“Teddy …” I wait, not letting him go.noveldrama

After a moment, he relaxes against me with a sigh. “Okay, well we didn’t even kiss at our wedding. Like, I married you, and … nothing.”

I sit with that truth for a moment. He’s right, of course. It hadn’t even occurred to me that he would want that. If my memory serves, he was panicking, and I was just trying to have it all over and done as quickly as possible to spare him any discomfort or embarrassment.

“I had a stolen pen in my pocket, Felix’s dad’s watch on my wrist, and the whole thing was in Swedish,” he goes on. “I could have been vowing to give you all my organs.”

I chuckle again, brushing my lips to his shoulder. I resent the feeling of his cotton T-shirt, blocking me from touching his skin. “You didn’t,” I assure him.

“But that’s the thing, I don’t know. No one does but you and that snobby officiant guy. We didn’t even have a witness. And I’ll be fucked before anyone sees those mugshot pictures they took of us to submit with the license.”

I must admit, I’m a bit distracted from all this talk of weddings and parties. I blame Teddy. His loc oil smells so good, like a soothing peppermint tea. And he’s wearing some of my cologne. The mix of peppermint with the woodsy cologne has him smelling like a crisp winter morning. I press my face in at his neck, breathing him in until he squirms.

“Fuck, babe, come on,” he says on a groan. “I can’t think when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Breathe me in like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re a wolf or something. It’s so primal.”

I smile, nuzzling the soft skin behind his ear. “Stop smelling so good then.” He just hums and my arm tightens around him. I kiss his neck, right at the point where the scents merge. When I flick with my tongue, he gasps. “You smell like me. It’s intoxicating.”

“Well, I’ve been using your cologne, so that tracks.” I don’t need to see his face to know he’s smiling. My distraction is working. He’s coming back to me, floating out of his panic spiral and back into my arms.

“Do you wear it to drive me crazy?”

He huffs. “No, I wear it to drive me crazy.”

Loosening my hold on him, I let my hands roam over the firm planes of his chest. “What do you mean?”

His body goes slack as I caress him. “I just like smelling like you.”

“Why?” I nip his ear, and he hisses, trying to hold still.

“Makes me feel like you’re there, even when you’re not, like your skin was just touching my skin. It turns me on.”

“So primal,” I tease, slipping my hand up under his shirt. My calloused fingertips trace over his warm skin.

He melts against me. “God, Hen, I seriously can’t think with you touching me, and I need to say something else.”

I go still, both hands under his shirt. “What?”

Pushing away from me with a frustrated groan, he sits up. “Okay, so don’t freak out, but someone said something nasty about us tonight and Karolina heard them.”

I sit up, good feelings gone. “What was said?”

He shifts away slightly so we can face each other. “They said I’m leaving you. Which totally isn’t true,” he quickly adds. “But they said it, and Karro heard, and she was definitely upset.”

My protective instincts surge at the thought of someone upsetting her. “Who said it?”

“Karro doesn’t know.” He places a hand on my shoulder. “But it doesn’t matter. People think it’s true. Whether the guys are gossiping to their wives or the media is still stirring the shit, people still think this marriage is just, like, a publicity stunt, a means to an end. And that end is you getting full custody of Karro. And maybe that is how this all started, minus the interest in publicity,” he quickly adds. “We both just wanted to do whatever we could to protect Karro. But getting married as our solution was impulsive and reckless and—”

“And we didn’t even kiss,” I say over him, squeezing his hand. “Yes, I’m seeing more and more how unfair our rushed wedding was for everyone on all sides.”

He sits back. “Right. Well, I assured her I’m not leaving. Not—like, that I’m not leaving her,” he quickly amends. “I made a vow to her as much as you, and I’ll not break it, Henrik. And I may have …” His words trail into silence as he bites his bottom lip again.

I feel his anxiety spike, and I sit forward. “What, mitt hjärta?”

He lets his breath out. “Okay, I may have said something. It was in the moment, and it felt right, but I don’t wanna feel like I crossed any lines. I mean, you don’t make kids promises you can’t keep. That’s, like, rule number one. And I know I should have checked with you first—”

“Teddy, just tell me—”

“I told her I love her. I told her in English and in Swedish. God, Hen, it was eating me up not to say it,” he adds with a groan. “She needs to know how serious I am. Karolina’s my little girl now too. She’s mine, and no one is gonna say shit that will make her doubt my intentions to stay in her life.”

“I’m not mad,” I assure him, one hand on his thigh.

He raises a dark brow. “You’re not?”

I shake my head, smiling with relief. “No, I’m glad.”

It’s not as if I didn’t know. Anyone can see the way they are together—laughing and singing and making jokes. In those moments of play, he reminds me the most of Petra. They’re so different in personality in all other respects. But loving Karolina brings out the best in both of them. Teddy is just the sort of joyous, fun-loving parent Karolina deserves.

I’ve been finding my own way into parenting, shifting from being the morbror she only saw on video calls and holidays to being a daily fixture in her life. Ours is a quieter kind of love, the love of stillness. Arms to hold her, words of comfort to share. She goes to Teddy when she wants to laugh and play. She comes to me when she’s tired, when she’s sad and grieving, when she needs the world to stop spinning quite so fast.

Both kinds of love are worthwhile. And Karolina deserves nothing less. I smile, glancing at Teddy. We really do make a good team. “She’s a very blessed little girl,” I say, giving his thigh a squeeze. “To earn your love is a gift not to be taken for granted.”

He inches closer. “Hen, I …”

“What?”

He swallows, his nervousness now like an aura around him. “I said it in haste to you before … at the restaurant. I kind of threw it at you, actually. Classic, Teddy, right? My emotions get the best of me, and I sort of just blast everything I’m feeling, like a firework.”

I can’t help but smile. A firework. It’s such a fitting analogy for my Teddy. He burns hot, spiraling in the air, bursting in a kaleidoscope of colors. He’s everywhere at once, requiring all my senses to fully take in his radiance.

“But I do feel that way about you,” he goes on, a giant blush on his freckled cheeks. “I mean, I still do. I did then, and I do now. But I definitely should have finessed it better. I can’t just go around blurting those things out. To Karro or to you. I need to be more measured, more controlled, more—”

“Teddy.” I squeeze his thigh again and he stops, my breath held tight. Still smiling, I lift my other hand and brush my fingertips down the locs on his shoulder. “Never make yourself smaller. Not for Karolina, and certainly not for me.”

He flashes me that nervous smile. “You gotta admit, I’m a lot. Especially for Swedish people.”

“You are just enough. You’re my partner, my husband. And you’re Karolina’s fiercest guardian. We’re lucky to have you, Teddy. I for one mean to continue earning the trust you’ve put in me. I will put you first—”

“And I’ll put you first.” He scoots closer, his hand covering mine on his thigh. “You and Karro. I mean, this can work, right? It’s crazy. How this all started is so crazy. It’s no wonder people gossip about us.”

“Let them gossip.” My anger still threatens to peak at the thought of someone saying cruel words where Karolina or Teddy can hear. “They mean nothing to us.”

He nods. “Yeah, they don’t matter.”

“Nothing matters but this.” I take his hand, placing it over my heart.

He splays his fingers, his body relaxing as he sinks closer to me. I reel him in, one arm around his shoulders. Yes, this is what I want. Everything else can be fixed. This may have all started in a haze of grief and panic, but that now feels like another life. Our families will forgive us. The press will ignore us. So long as I have Teddy, it will all be fine.

In this moment, I just want him close to me. I want him sharing my air. I want to be his air. Pulling him to me, I kiss him, my lips parted and seeking. He hums with relief, as if he too is starving for my affection. I cup the back of his neck, breaking our kiss. “I believe you promised me a reward for my good behavior today.”

He grins, his hands braced on my chest. “I did, didn’t I?” He leans closer, kissing me again. “You were such a good crab for me, baby. So patient.” Kiss. “So helpful.” Kiss. “And I can’t believe you actually let us paint your face like a rainbow tiger.”

I huff. “That’s what has you most surprised?”

“Attending the Rays’ annual Boo-tacular Trunk-or-Treat doesn’t seem like your jam,” he says with a shrug.

I let a glare seep through my contented expression. “You should be more impressed with how I made no comment while you made plans to stroke my teammate from head to toe. Thrice over.”

“Ooooh.” His grin widens. “Is that why you were being so weird with Novy? I thought it was some kind of protective thing, like you were trying to intimidate him for me.”

“Impossible. The only person alive who can intimidate that man is Poppy St. James.”

“But you were jealous,” he presses. “You’re jealous that I’m gonna give Novy a massage?”

“Three massages.” I hold up three fingers, still glaring at him.

Laughing, Teddy grabs my wrist and climbs into my lap. With my fingers still held up, he reverently kisses the tip of each one. Then he takes my hand and slips it back under his shirt, rubbing my palm up his bare chest. He arches into my touch, his hips grinding over mine. Letting my wrist go, he places both hands on my shoulders. “Trust me when I say there’s no reason to be jealous of me massaging Novy. Or anyone else on the team.”

“Is there not? I’m your husband, so you’re not allowed to massage me, remember? It’s hard not to feel like I’m being punished for having the audacity to make you mine.”

He rocks on my lap again, teasing me with a groan, as my cock hardens against my thigh. Then he runs his fingers through my hair, tipping my head back. “The rule is no massages at work. Novy was right. You’re the one to be jealous of here, not him.”

“Oh, yes? Why?”

He moves atop me, setting the fire in my chest burning brighter.Then he folds over me, kissing me, hands stroking. “Because you can have the full Teddy treatment anytime you want. All you have to do is ask.”

Weaving my fingers into his hair, I tug him gently back, breaking our kiss. “You would massage me too?”

“Baby, ‘too’ implies I’m gonna massage you like I massage your teammates. And I don’t typically massage my clients naked. You’re an exception.”

Stifling a growl, I sit up. Hands on his ass, I hold him to me as I stand. He gasps, the sound coming out like a laugh, as his arms wrap around my neck, legs around my hips. “Ohgod—”

Walking him forward, I don’t stop until we hit the wall. He groans, his head tipping back. Pinning him with my hips, I free a hand, wrapping it around his throat. “I’m the only exception. Say it.”

His smile is incandescent as he leans into the pressure of my hand. “You say it. Say the words, Henrik.”

I grind him against the wall. Christ, my heart is racing. I feel desperate. He makes me want to lose control. Or cede it. I know if I do, I’ll feel nothing but pleasure.

As he reads my mind, his smile is triumphant. “You’re aching for it, baby. You think I can’t feel your hard cock pressed against mine? You need release. Say the words, and I’ll give you what you need. Let me show you how good we can be.”

My senses are spinning as I try to remember how to form words in English. He does this to me. He twists me up, leaving me breathless and voiceless, completely incapable of thought. To go from feeling all but numb to life to this vibrancy? It’s almost more than I can bear.

Every moment with Teddy has been something new—joy, curiosity, anxiety, lust, need, peace, frustration. He feels so much all the time. Like an electrical conduit, he transfers all his emotion into me. When we touch, we become a completed circuit. Feelings overflow from him into me. In this moment, I’m that cup with no bottom. I want him to pour into me and never stop.

But his family is wrong about us. There’s no fear of me draining him dry. There is too much of Teddy to ever claim all of him. He’ll give me only what I need. He’ll take such good care of me. Someone as precious as him can do no less.

“Say it,” he teases again. “Say, ‘Massage me.’”

Those are the words he wants, but they’re not the words I give him. It’s time. I’m ready. I want to be his in all ways. I squeeze my hand at his throat and lean in, holding his adoring gaze. “Fuck me.”